a fresh start

studying and taking tests with runny nose, phlegm and mucus stuck in the brain weighing a tonne and a tinge of hot-headness is so, not, cool. that prolly explains the apathy. excuses.

hey! that guy in 'deal or no deal' who's darn into star wars is called clement lim! use the foooorrce!!! special thanks to (sopril-i-mean-)sophia for telling me this. haha

youaresuchafuckeryoushouldjustburninhell
i shouldnt even be calling you dad cause in my eyes, you're not qualifie

rather than complain how badly i would do for the upcoming block tests(mostly due to the lack of discipline)
rather than whine all day long of the gruesome times about to be spent in sssp
rather than curse and swear at life for being such a bitch

rejoice for at least i did put in effort and tried(though i know i could have done better)
ha

ooo. i forgot 17th was fathers' day. so happened not to wish him prolly due to some peculiar stm there. but who cares? will he?

anyways Altarboys retreat was splendid (minus the fact that i have to sleep like 4am everday and wake up around 7/8 and leave church in the afternoon to study) and i was really tempted to abandon my study plans throughout the course of the fourdayfournight event. kudos to all those who made it possible and special thanks to construction worker (no derogatory intentions) shangkre who made our stay much more delightful :D

some may say:

'however brightly a piece of coal may be burning, it will soon burn out if you remove it from the flames. however intelligent a man may be, he will soon lose his warmth and his flame if he distances himself from his fellow man.'

its not as though i havent experienced a breakaway from church before. this was phase two of it. the first was god-knows-when ages ago after le seperation. anyway back to the point could it be due to the turbulent period in my life where i no longer believed in God, or, rather, i no longer believed that the spiritual world was very important as coelho puts it? but what i did yesterday was way unexpected. attended mass and went for the Altarboys meeting and even taught newcomer timothy poh how to serve High mass. was this dissidence of mine extinguished? or was it just a fluke where i felt guilty or maybe even lonely? or to the point that i just happened to have nothing-else-better-to-do on a saturday evening? watever it was it felt good to relieve those times where i was (how do i put it) still a staunch catholic, a committed altarboy. the time spent was well worth it and as quoted by alexander michael chong chang ren and numerous times by leo francis jason prabu along these lines: 'the old times are back again'. was this a sign?

Altar Boys Retreat; 18th-21st with St. Aloysius Gonzaga's feastday on the 21st. wat a timely event. still i feel more motivated(or i think i am) to study than before maybe due to what has happened of late in school. ha anyways hope the lad is doing fine and 'may the force be with you(/him)'

what. the. fuck. have you; the supposedly goodie-good church people been doing aye? gossiping and poking your stinking noses into other peoples' lives when you should be minding your own fucking business and praying for your redemption instead? please judge your fucking self before you make those comments on others. i mean, seriously, what has she done to deserve this? putting effort into helping the church and all and this is what she gets? hell no! screw you bitches man. But, surprisingly, i am dissappointed in her but well, any action committed in anger is an action doomed to failure(or in this case self inflicted long term damage to body). bah but i still love her anyways